It’s been awhile since I’ve had a Mac in my life. I guess it was back when I was doing this blog and the Yogi Movement. It’s not like I can’t function on a PC – In fact I can function very well. But, something happened when I purchased my new MacBook Air. Something lit up inside. It was a like a little bit of magic came with it.
Now I’m logged into WordPress and eating lunch at Infusion Tea trying to figure out what to do next. It all seems so foreign to me! I used to be able to put a site up in 24 hours, add new themes, mess with the widgets, find the right plugins for what I needed. But now… where do I start? How do I relearn this? I know I can do it because muscle memory is real. If I knew it once, I can know it again.
You know what else is real? Getting older and the body changes that come along with it. If you followed The Yogi Movement in the past, then you know I stepped away and stopped blogging. Not because I didn’t love it, but because I got a new job that I fell in love with and decided to dedicate my time. It became my work and my hobby. I know that seems unhealthy, but if you do what you love – you never work a day, right? That statement’s not totally true because sometimes work feels like work, but it’s mostly true.
I cut back on yoga for the past few years. I stopped teaching because I really wanted to focus on my personal yoga practice. My schedule was not consistent and it was hard to find a studio that I really liked. Practicing at home became less motivating. Plus, I work remotely and desperatly need to get out of the house and be around people.
This past year, my husband and I have dedicated to getting back into yoga. I am not focused on Ashtanga, but I am focused on a consistent weekly practice along with the Peloton Bike, strength training, and some walking and running when I feel like it. I think I actually move pretty good for being 44. How crazy is that!
It was hard at first going into the studios and seeing how I’ve changed, and all of the younger limber yogis twisting and turning like I used to! I am no longer the pretzel I used to be! But, let’s be real, I was never really a pretzel. My gift has always been strength. I really excel at the strength postures more than the extreme twisty ones. All of the twisty postures have taken long hours of practice and dedication to achieve. The first time I bound in Supta Kurmasana, I was in the middle of a juice fast. I’m not proud of that, but just making a point that it didn’t come naturally or easily.
I am still a rockstar at asana, but I have to watch it. I have had some shoulder issues that I had to get physical therapy for, and I can’t overdo it. In the past I’ve always been someone to push myself to the point of not being safe which might be where my shoulder issues started. To be fair, I had teachers that promoted and advocated for that. You find that a lot in the Ashtanga world. There were all these little sayings that teachers would say…. “You’re having an opening.” “Push through the pain”. “It’s a release.” “The pain is where the work is.” blah blah blah. My decisions are my own, but it wasn’t helpful having teachers who you look to for guidance take this approach. Following my gut and being true to myself is a lesson I learned through all of this, and I wouldn’t take it back. I made so many great friends and had so many amazing things happen during my yoga journey… and it’s still a journey. All the good is still happening – just with better insight.
I embrace my place now in the yoga room. I am no longer envious of my younger yogi self, or where I used to be. It was a little bit of a grieving process at first, but now I love where I am and that I listen to my body. I no longer look back, but I look forward. I have found evolution in this practice in different ways. If I feel like taking it easy – I take it easy. If I feel like pushing myself – I take the challenge. If it feels like I might be pushing myself into pain – I play it safe. I make the right decision.
So, did the MacBook Air provide the magic? Probably not. The magic’s in me. It’s in all of us. But, maybe it provided me with that familiar feeling to inspire me to start again. Or, maybe it’s just time. I’m just following a path and long for the ride! Please bear with me as I relearn this process of writing, building a website, updating plugins, and hopefully not breaking the website! Wish me luck!
Sending lots of love and happy vibes to you!