Have you ever felt like you knew you had somewhere else to go? You’re at a job that you dread going to every day, but you just can’t get out of there. Maybe you even send out resume after resume, but nothing’s happening.
Maybe you have this hunger to travel the world. See lots of destinations. Immerse yourself in cultures. You have a dream destination list, but you can’t seem to book your flight, or save the money to do so.
Maybe you feel like you don’t have a purpose. You went to college. You even got a graduate degree, but you don’t feel passionate about one thing. So, you feel lost.
Whatever it is. There is a block. You’re stuck. It’s draining you, and all you want is for it to disappear so you can live a life of happiness and move forward.
You’re in luck. We’re tackling that right here. Right now!
In this weeks podcast we talk about 4 ways to get unstuck.
But first, a little commentary:
Let’s Understand Your Mind:
In the last podcast, we discussed the definition of yoga. I want to make a little correction in reference to the vrittis. I discussed vrittis as misconceptions, but that’s actually just one type of vritti. Vritiis are just thoughts. They can be from direct experience, memories, dreams, verbal delusions, or misconceptions – and they can be painful or painless.
The misconceptions are the things that usually drive our mind crazy. I find that this is true for me. When I’ve created stories in my head from something I’ve heard, or something I assume – that’s when I can drive myself nuts.
Sometimes a really joyful situation can also result in suffering.
What if you get a brand new car, and then crash it? What brought you joy in one moment might cause suffering the next. That’s not a misconception – that’s a true situation that caused emotional pain. This is called the suffering of change in Buddhism. Patanjali calls it direct perception – something we’ve experienced in front of our eyes, and know to be true.
Sometimes things that bring you pain can result in something positive.
You can have a very tough breakup, but it might lead to a self discovery and life changes that go beyond your wildest dreams.
Vrittis are just mind waves, and in yoga we want to calm any extreme emotion. So, extremely joyful or extremely painful. We want to create a neutral space in our mind so that we aren’t bombarded with extreme mood swings from one to the next.
Don’t confuse this with repressing anything.
You will feel extreme joy and pain. That’s a part of life. The yoga practice just helps us understand it differently. We learn to love and accept those things as vibrations in the universe.
This kind of joy is the best because we’re able to experience happiness while keeping the mind free of clouds.
It’s OK If You Lose Focus
There will also be times that we screw it up. We practice over and over, and most of the time we’ve got the reactions under control. Then, one day our focus is off, and we react like a crazy person. When this happens, you just have to accept it, forgive yourself, learn from it, and then try again next time.
That’s why Patanjali says to do this over a long period of time, with unconditional love, and without break.
This is a practice. A work in progress. A lifetime of work.
1. Commit to letting go of the past:
It’s normal to analyze your life to try to understand why you are the way you are. Perhaps you know your bad habits, but you can’t seem to shake ‘em. Most people try to get to the root of their problems by understanding their childhood trauma.
Sometimes learning where the roots came from doesn’t help you let go at all. Sifting through your mind can just cause more clouds. You might also create scenarios that didn’t even happen just so you can identify with something.
What if your memory of a situation is so scattered that you don’t get the story right? Then, what if you get angry at someone for something that didn’t even happen? This can just make things worse.
Not only that – let’s say the story is 100% correct, and you do get to the root. Great. Now, you’ve got more knowledge, but you still have to make the change because all change happens within.
AND, Now you have to let go of anger, trauma, forgive yourself or someone else, and change the negative patterns that you’ve been playing out over and over your whole life.
That sounds draining. And it is. I’ve done it!
Here’s the new approach.
Rather than analyzing or even caring where your patterns came from, just work to move forward. Like Danielle LaPorte says, “Who cares how the elephant got on your foot. Just get him off!”
See how all of the analyzing can actually stop you from moving forward? Now I understand why they call it analysis paralysis.
2. What You’re Not Getting is What You’re Not Giving:
What are you looking for from someone else? In the podcast we do a quick meditation where I have you focus on what’s holding you back.
Are you looking for approval from a boss? Love from a parent?
Take the first step, and share over social media. If you feel like you’re not enough, then start to share inspiring quotes over Facebook or Twitter. Most of all, bring that energy and intention with you everywhere you go, and radiate it to whoever you come in connection with.
Even if it’s unspoken, let her know that she is enough. She has within her what it takes to do whatever she wants. You have a beautiful and unique gift that only you possess.
Always send that out.
It works for anything. If you are looking for love, make sure you let everyone you come in contact with feel loved. If you feel like you’re not seen or heard, make your goal to be really great at listening to others.
Once you do this, it will radiate back to you. #Truth! This happens because you have detached yourself from needing it from others, and you’ll see quickly that you have this within.
Once you realize this – it’s yours.
3. Create the Life You’ve Been Dreaming Of:
You need to find a support group to help you move forward and encourage you on your path. It’s okay to have a few families. I have a yoga family, a blogger family, and an entrepreneurship family.
Remember that you are the accumulation of the people that you spend the most time with. So, make a list of the types of friends you want. What qualities do they have? How do they support you?
Seek them out, and get rid of the ones that drain you.
4. Turn Suffering into Gratitude:
Don’t worry about why you are the way you are. Don’t try to figure that out. You are just you, and even with your flaws and imperfections – you are so beautiful and unique.
Instead of looking at your past as an elephant, look at it as a beautiful flower that makes you who you are today.
Because with all of the stuff that you feel to be negative, there is just as much positive and beauty. Maybe what happened in your past made you the independent, empathetic, and sensitive person you are.
Maybe this is why you’re able to be so creative and help others?
You Can’t Resist Or Force It:
Derek Rydall has a beautiful story where he describes resistance like an acorn. He says the acorn doesn’t know that she’s going to grow into an oak tree. So, when the shell starts to crack it’s uncomfortable. She’s going to try her hardest to keep the shell together, but the acorn can’t help the tree from giving birth.
The acorn doesn’t have a choice, and that’s how our life is too.
We can resist and resist and resist, but if we really want happiness, we’re going to have to let go and surrender to our path.
What’s Holding You Back?
So, when you look at the notes we took from last week, what patterns are coming up? What’s being repeated? What’s causing the suffering? What’s making you angry? What’s holding you back?
Are there any misconceptions? Anything that you’re creating in your mind that may not be the whole truth?
Join The Conversation:
Have you realized a theme or pattern that’s coming up that could be holding you back? How can you say it’s shaped you for the better? How did you get through it?
Tell me in the comments or share over Twitter or Facebook! Links are below!