It’s been awhile since we’ve talked.
It’s not you. It’s me.
I’ve been on a bit of a sabbatical longer than I’ve wanted, but I can see now it’s something I needed.
Have you ever just had so much on your plate that you don’t know where to start, so you just decided to not do any of it? Then, you hate yourself for not doing anything? Usually I can find a starting place, but this time I couldn’t.
I started this blog to teach the gifts of yoga. Yoga has changed my life in so many ways, and I knew that I wanted to give people nuggets of yoga that anyone could do – at any time – to help you find little bits of silence in your crazy day. Bits of solace that you didn’t even know were possible. Bits of inner peace that you could use whenever you need to change your mood and mindset. Little bits of yoga that make big change!
So many people are intimidated by yoga and meditation. They think they can’t meditate because they can’t quiet their mind, which is THE REASON you need to meditate! It’s just about starting where you are.
Or, they think they can’t do yoga postures because they’re out of shape or not flexible, but yoga postures are just shapes!
Have you ever seen people dance to the YMCA song? Can you do that? If you can do that, then you can do yoga! If you can do the Y, then you’re more than half way to tree posture!
I digress.
So, during this time of creating products, writing blogs, designing my website, scheduling social media, and teaching yoga classes, I became seduced by the world of online marketing.
I was following all of these successful entrepreneurs that had these blueprints on how to make money online……
You have to create a tagline. You must have a massive email list. Send emails on this day and this time. Just target one person. How will you stand out? Purchase Facebook Ads. Start a Facebook Group. Create a landing page – oh and buy lead pages from me so that I make an affiliate commission! Schedule your social media. Be on Twitter. Be on Periscope. Be on Facebook. Be on Instagram. Don’t even bother being online if you’re not doing a live broadcast. Start a podcast. Create a free opt in for every piece of content you do. Be on FB live. Be on snapchat. Start a youtube channel. Be everywhere! Set unattainable goals because you need a damn hard challenge! Do webinars. Get testimonials. Make sure you have the countdown timer on your website & emails to create urgency.
The list goes on and on and on and on and on….
Honestly, with all of this information, and not enough time or money to make it all happen – I felt like a failure. I love every second of creating and blogging, but these expectations made things depressing and unenjoyable.
During this time I also found out I was severely anemic. I actually got admitted to the hospital, and had stay the night while I received a blood transfusion, and an iron infusion.
It was then that I took my sabbatical. I was so frustrated at myself for not moving forward. But let’s be real, I was having a real medical problem that was causing an energy drain.
I kept reminding myself that I needed to take care of myself first, and I am right where I’m supposed to be. At the same time, I was trying to figure out where I was supposed to go.
Days would go by. I would think about the days when I was so excited to write a blog post. I remembered the days when I had so many ideas I couldn’t keep my mind straight, and would have to record my thoughts on my iPhone because otherwise they’d get lost in the tornado in my head! I was just hoping that one day my vision would return. That it would just click & I’d be back to creating.
So, I took a step back. I focused on my health. I had some surgery to remove a massive fibroid tumor, which was the reason I was so anemic in the first place.
I’m a little over 3 weeks post op (the full recovery is 6 weeks), and I’m slowly starting to feel my inspiration creep back in as my energy returns. I’ve been reading all of my old posts, and reminiscing on when I started my website.
I want to be that person again. The girl I was before I became brainwashed by the world of online marketers.
I really really miss when things felt exciting and simple. And, when I say simple – I don’t mean easy. I mean when I would even look forward to exploring the challenges.
So, I’m going back to my roots!
The blueprints are going in the trash! I’m just going to blog about what lights me up inside. I’m not going to care about pinnable images, youtube videos, or headlines that convert!
I’m less interested in how to blog posts and more concerned with being REAL!
I’m NOT tweaking my emails and posts into sales pitches! Yeah, I have stuff to offer. You know where to find it.
But, First and most importantly – I’m here for you as a friend. Human to human. Yogi to yogi.
I’m still trying to get clarity on my vision for this blog, but I’m trusting the process. It’s not easy for me to say that. I feel like I’m going against all of the rules of running an online business by admitting I’m in a slump. But, if I didn’t do that, I’d be lying. I wouldn’t be authentic or true to myself, and if I can’t be true to myself – how can I ever be of service to you?
So, I’ve decided to do some real self-reflection, and it’s going to be so much fun!
One of the books we read in Orlando Spiritual Book Club was The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (that’s my affiliate link). I’ve decided to do the happiness project myself, and maybe you can do it with me!
I’ll be discussing it in my FB group if you want to join the community – but feel free to do it in the comfort of your privacy, too!
We’re going to work on a theme each month, which will start on October 1st. Whether or not you purchase the book, I’ll talk you through it.
But first, we’re going to come up with our commandments. Gretchen Rubin has 12. I have 16. Think of these as morals and rules you’d like to live by. A list that you can always refer back to when you feel lost or stuck to help you find the light.
Here are mine…
- Be Monica.
- Surround myself with positive, open hearted, and loving people.
- Trust the process.
- Enjoy the process
- Let go & forgive.
- Be honest & transparent.
- Live simple.
- Listen first.
- Find humor in it all.
- Fail forward.
- Show gratitude & take time to appreciate.
- Start before you’re ready.
- Keep moving.
- Do what I want to do. (Not for the approval of someone else).
- Say no when it doesn’t feel right.
- Break the rules when necessary.
So, what do you think? What would some of your commandments be?
Hugs & Kisses Forever (and ever),
I love your first commandment! I’ve been trying to live in the spirit of ‘being me’ for the past few years, after I realized that I was just floating through life like a jelly fish and not actually doing what I wanted and what was really “me”! Above all other things that have changed in my thinking, that one thing – being my authentic self – has made a huge impact in my life. The more ‘me’ I feel, the less I care about what others think!
Yes! I love that you are working on it too. It’s crazy though because the more I feel I’m being me, I start to become very aware of when I’m NOT me. When I’m trying to win someone’s approval or impress someone. I didn’t realize how many little identities I was carrying around, but trying to notice it & let it go 🙂
This is a seriously awesome post. I felt the same way you did this summer, and I took a 2 month break from the blog because I couldn’t handle the thought of all the things I “had” to do when I wrote a blog post. Now I’m back and doing whatever the heck I want. I’ve been injured and just feel like if I can’t write about running no one cares, but now I’m just doing whatever I want and I love it! Thanks for posting this, it’s good to know I’m not the only one getting burned out on blogging sometimes. I also joined your Facebook group because that sounds awesome!